His Blended Family: Catherine, Julie, and André

 His and My Children

He is survived by his blended family members: daughters  Catherine Cook and Julie French (Ed), and son Andre Kaiser (Eileen Teller) 

        As I write this brief history if Doug, which I started in the fall of 2024, it is now January of 2025.  I'm writing from our little cottage in the mountains above Boulder. When I woke up this morning, the temperature was -11--yes, minus 11. We have about six inches of snow on the ground, and I have a fire in the wood stove nicely blazing. Today is actually January 20, auspiciously inauguration of a president I vehemently voted against as well as our national Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday.   But back to Doug and the children.

        When Doug and I first got together in 1989, Catherine was 31, Julie was 28, and André was 11 (It was the summer; he would turn 12 in December of that year. ) In 1989, Catherine was living in Richardson, Texas; Julie was in Houston; André was in Boulder with me.  Each of the children took immediately to Doug. I mean, who wouldn’t?  But I think they were relieved for me, their mother, that I had found someone who was kind, gentle, gainfully employed, and who adored me.

        Doug was thrilled to have more family members, and throughout the years, as they grew older, we managed to find time together, and that, for us, was always the best of times. Right now as I write, Catherine lives in Connecticut, but is still working at Bloomingdale's and has an apartment in the city. Julie and Ed live in Wimberley, Texas, and Andre and Eileen live in Nederland, Colorado.   

        Doug's relationship with each of the children was unique, and he valued them in each in their own way. Over the 33 years that we were married, their lives changed in many ways, and, like all families and all children, they had their ups and downs, moments of chaos, sorrow, happiness, and celebration. With no exceptions whatever, Doug supported them in all their endeavors, bragged about them, worried about them, and always considered them as his own.

 

Catherine.

 

Catherine, Doug, and my sister Karol

 

 

 

 

 

         This picture of Catherine probably says it best. We are in New York, and I'm pretty sure this is the occasion of Brett's 30th birthday. Catherine always organized our trips to visit, down to the last detail. I'm quite sure that we had reservations and that restaurant. When later, Doug and I were tired, but Brett's party was still in full swing, Catherine ordered an Uber for us. When we traveled to see her, whether in Texas, California, or New York, we were always relieved that we knew exactly what would be happening and that we would be taken care of. She was always generous with getting our flights and places to stay.  The last trip Doug took, as I have said earlier, was to Connecticut to meet our great grandson Rafe. Catherine arranged for first class tickets for us all, car transportation, and a stay at a lovely and spacious Airbnb that faced the river.  All of this in spite of an incredibly busy professional life. 

 

 

Catherine and Doug, High Line Walk NYC

Doug and I had wanted to walk the High Line, and even though it's a big tourist attraction, Catherine took us there, making sure we had coffee on that chilly day. Later, when Doug was tired, she ordered an Uber for him to go back to the hotel, while we continued the walk.

        Julie.  We spent some great times with Julie and family when they were in Austin and later in Wimberley in a beautiful and peaceful house they had designed in the Hill Country.  

 

Me, Doug, Julie, Andrew, and Eric

Of course, I was honored to officiate and Julie and Ed's wedding, which took place in their house in Austin. It was New Year's Day, 2010.

 

            

Julie and Doug on Long Island Sound

 We had come to celebrate Joanie's first birthday in late May. And it was that cold. Doug was having a real issue with lymphedema, but was so happy to be traveling and to be with family. He and Julie are in deep conversation, but I don't know about what.

        In the spring of 2023, a year and a half before Doug died, Julie came to stay with him for a week while I went to my yoga and dance retreat in Mexico.  At that time, Doug needed a lot of assistance with his care. I had someone come in for his showers and dressing, and each night, an aide came to give him his meds, about five different pills. He wasn't able to drive, so Julie took him to doctor appointments,  walked with him as he was getting used to using a walker, and made sure his days went smoothly. They mostly enjoyed talking with one another. Doug loved their time together. In fact, he was deeply disappointed when Julie visited a few months before his death that I was not going to Mexico and Julie was not here to stay with him. Julie and I still laugh at the look of deep disappointment on his face when her realized I was not going anywhere. 

André.  He was almost 12 when Doug and I got together, and since he lived with us and later, even into his adulthood, he was always close by, so he and Doug formed a special bond over the years. Doug offered André support and consistency through the challenging teenage years, and at one time, he lived with Doug while he was finishing high school and I was teaching in Utah. Later, in his adult years, he stayed again with Doug to complete course in HVAC that he was taking in Denver. 

Luca, André, and Doug Out for a Walk

My Birthday Dinner at André's

 

  

A

A Much Needed Shave

When Doug became ill and later, in 2024, when he was in the hospital, then rehab, then memory care, André helped with all arrangements, visited Doug on a weekly basis, bring Eileen, Legend, and Luca when he could. 

 

The Amalfi Coast.

 At Doug's funeral, André spoke of his high school years, when music and especially guitar, were an important part of his life. He and Doug would practice heavy metal music together, André on guitar and Doug at the piano. We all loved the image that he evoked and how much it characterized Doug, who was willing to try anything for the children.