Doug's Sons
Steven and Daniel
He is survived by... his cherished sons, Steven and Daniel
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| Steven, Doug, and Daniel. What a great picture! |
Before Doug and I came together, he was married to Harriet. Together, they adopted two sons, both of whom have poignant stories. I'm not sure I have all the facts correct, but here is what I remember hearing from both Doug and the boys (now men in their 50s) . I'll be sure to check with them and get back to you if I need to make corrections.
Steven and Daniel are six months apart; Steven's birthday is in January and Daniel's is in July. The birth dates are approximate.
Steven was adopted from Seoul, Korea. He was found in the train station in Seoul when he was 6 months old. My thoughts about that have always been that whoever left him there must have chosen the busy train station because they knew that someone would notice that he had been left there alone fairly quickly. As Doug would tell it, he was plump and in good health. Although later on, there would be some controversy over Americans adopting Korean children, this was not the case when Steven came to live with Doug and Harriet. The concept of adoption was foreign to Koreans at that time, although that is not the case right now.
It had taken some for Steven's adoption to come through, so Doug and Harriet thought they has better request their second child really quickly, so they did that. To their surprise, Daniel was ready only six months later. Daniel was adopted from an orphanage near Cuzco in Peru. He was okay, but was in need of nourishment to thrive and gain weight. Harriet flew to Peru to pick him up, wrapped in a hand woven woolen blanket, simple, but elegant, with contrasting brown and grey stripes, made from natural dyes. Doug kept that blanket throughout our various moves, and when he became ill, and I was getting ready to move, I offered that blanket to Daniel. He accepted it with awe, holding it in his hands as he said, "I was brought from Peru in this blanket?"
The boys always knew they were adopted, and they took a great deal of pride in that. But the story of their adoption did lead to a funny misconception. When asked where they came from, they would be told: "We brought you from Korea on an airplane." or "We brought you from Peru on an airplane." That led them to believe that that's how all babies came into the world. So Doug remembers hearing them ask their playmates on the playground, "What airplane did you come on?"
As can happen, Doug's marriage did not last, and, through a mutual decision, the boys remained with Doug. He saw them through their elementary school years, through their teenage years in high school--somewhat turbulent years, as is often the case with teenagers--and through their graduation and beyond. They saw their mother, of course, who had moved to Los Angeles and later to Seattle, but Doug was their primary parent for those years. Although that was at some cost to his professional life, which required publishing along with teaching, he never gave it a second thought, placing his children above all else.
A Sleepless Night, Perhaps?
As I said, both men are now in their 50s. Steven went to college at the University of Washington in Seattle and has lived there ever since. He is the chief financial officer of a company that schedules events for professional organizations. Daniel stayed in the Boulder/Denver area. When Doug became ill in January of 2024, Daniel visited him every week and was with him on the day before his death. He showed great courage in wheeling Doug around Juniper Village, sitting outside in the courtyard with him, or in the library. When Doug would talk to Daniel, about something that didn't make much sense, Daniel intuitively understood how to respond. Steven, being farther away, would call, and I would hold the phone up to Doug's ear. He always beamed when he heard Steven's voice.
Here they are at our annual sushi gathering on André's birthday. The last time we were able to get together with Doug.
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| Doug & Daniel Dec 24, 2023 |
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| Steven, Dec 24, 2023 |
