Ack! What a Week!

 Dear Joanie, Rafe, and Luca,

    I have to say that this week started off with the entire world holding its breath as President Trump issued an ultimatum to Iran in this war that he started: 

    "A whole generation will die tonight (Tuesday, April 7)" unless the Strait of Hormuz, which is a major waterway for 20% of the world's oil, is reopened. Of course, the strait was closed by Iran after the U.S. initiated war with that country. 

    As usual, he backtracked on that threat, but we are deeply concerned about his mental health.  I have called my Congressmen to plead that they initiate impeachment proceedings against this president, who is more and more irrational.  He has become a threat to world peace, a seeker of revenge, and a buffoon who has made out country a laughingstock around the world.

    At home here in Boulder, Colorado, our drought continues. And I paid almost $5 a gallon for gasoline for the Subaru.

    Yet here are some highlights of the week:

        --NASA launched Artemis II,  a flight to orbit the moon. It's the first flight in 50 years, and, as happens, the world was transfixed by the images coming back to us from the dark side of the moon. Nothing  unites a world as much as our fascination and utter awe of outer space.

Earth, As Seen from the Moon

         In my own back yard, the  cherry tree continues its full blooms, and the apple tree is just bursting forth.

Apple Blossom Time, April 2026

 

The No Kings March in Boulder

 Dear Joanie, Rafe, and Luca,

    On Saturday, March 28, here in Boulder and around the country, and, actually, around the world, thousands upon thousands of people(and some dogs) took part in the No Kings March organized to protest the actions of the current president, who has far overstepped his authority. 

    Here are a couple of pictures from the march, which took over two hours:

A Choir Leads Protest Songs

  

So Many Clever Signs 

  

      What will be the outcome of these protest? That remains to be seen. Right now:

        --The war in Iraq continues;

        --Gasoline prices are high because of that war;

        --Trump continues to try to destroy those institutions and ideals on which this country was founded.

        --The drought in the West and particularly in Colorado is serious.

    As spring approaches, we do not give up hope, and neither do Shelby Poodle and the cherry tree!

 

2026: An Incredible, Terrible, Horrible, and (I Hope) Wonderful Year

 Dear  Joanie, Rafe, and Luca,

    Today, as I begin once more the letters to you, my grand- and great-grandchildren, we are three months into 2026. We are facing two of the most threatening events of our lives: the collapse of our environment and the collapse of democracy under our president Trump. While I am determined to be completely forthcoming about these threats as the year continues, I am offering to you windows of hope as well.  

    Here are the headlines today (I use the New York Times  for  reference)

1.  The U.S. is at war with Iran, started by our president, without authorization and with cloudy purpose. Oil prices are surging.
2. The U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency (ICE) has hired thugs, who have far overstepped what broad authority they had. You will have to do research on ICE and the detention centers holding so-called illegal immigrants. You will be horrified.
3. The government is partially shut down, Democrats want to harness ICE actions; Republicans refuse. 
4. The Epstein Files. I can't even begin. Do your research.
5. Fraud and corruption at every level of the executive branch

    As for the environment: In Colorado, we have had no winter. Our water supply depends on our snow pack, and our reservoirs right now are at 25% to 52% capacity. 

    NONETHELESS:

    --It is a beautiful day in the Colorado mountains. My rose bush, apple tree, and lilacs have leafed out.

    --My small life among the backdrop of these world shattering events  consists of keeping up with the news, calling my representatives, walking Shelby Poodle, dancing, writing, hiking. In my 86th year I am, right now, healthy and active. 

    --It is always possible to find kindness and generosity everywhere, and I intend to document that for you.

    Stay with me here, as we see what the year brings.

        Your grandmother and great grandmother,

            Katie 

 

We Say Goodbye to Doug

 It Wasn't Easy, But We Did It

       

        Our family made it possible on a warm summer day, September 13, 2024.  We gathered at the Chautauqua Dining Hall in Boulder for breakfast before we began putting together the final touches for Doug's funeral at 2pm that day. 

 

And Here's To Doug!

This is what family is for, right? 

 On the left side of the picture: Mimi, Kasi, Karol, Kristi, André, Brett

At the head of the table: Julie

On the right side of the picture: My cousins Susan Johnsen and David Young, Me, Catherine, Eileen, Steven, Ed

 

Mimi Gammill Griggs, Kasi Verschoyle, and Kristi Leonard are the daughters of my sister Karol.  Daniel could not be with us, but met us later at the church.

 

        After breakfast, The Gammill family took off on their own, Steven went back to his hotel room, as did my cousins and Ed. Catherine, Julie, Brett, and I headed up to the mountain house. André and Eileen went to work on the eulogy for Doug. Brett figured out the placement of Doug's photos on a board for the reception, and I put finishing touches on the slide show I had put together, also for the reception. 

        We all headed back to St. Adian's, and Catherine and Julie headed out to pick up altar flowers, while Brett, Eileen, and I ser up things in the parish hall. André stayed in his truck working on the eulogy. Daniel showed up, and then the family began to gather. All of us and Doug's brother's family as well. 

        Our rector, Mary Kate Rejouìs led us into the church, which was filled with about 200 people. It was everything that Doug had wanted. The reception, arranged by parishioners was stunning and lasted a long time. So we were pretty tired and a bit numb. André and Eileen left to go pick up you, Luca. Daniel went back to Denver. 

        The rest of us went for Mexican food, including Margaritas. The next day we said our farewells. I picked up Shelby Poodle from daycare and she and I headed home with Doug's ashes, where they remain on a table in my bedroom.

        We miss him, of course.

 

And the Three of You

Joanie,  Rafe, and Luca 

Doug took immense pride in his role as a grandfather to Luca Kaiser and great grandfather to Joanie and Rafe Pffafenbach.

        And, finally, to the three of you. I dedicated this book to you because you won't remember our Doug, but rest assured, in the short time he knew the three of you, he loved being in your presence, hearing about you, and seeing pictures of you. He just beamed any time he talked about you.

        Here are some pictures of those memories.

We Meet Joanie: May 2021

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We Meet Rafe: Oct. 2024

These pictures of Luca and Doug are from December 2024 and Winter of 2025 .

We loved the Giraffes at Juniper Village

Doug & Luca Share a Meal

Luca is Dubious About Doug's Drawing Talent

The Grown Up Grandchildren

 Brett,  Eric, Andrew, and Legend

Doug took immense pride in his role as a grandfather to Brett O’Brien (Alex Pfaffenbach) Eric Newmiller, Andrew Newmiller...Legend Teller

 

        Right now, we have four grandchildren in all, three of whom are grownups. Luca, who is about to turn three, is actually younger than Joanie. He is our fourth grandchild, however. As I write this, Brett and Eric are 38 years old, and Andrew will turn 35 in April. 

 

Brett O'Brien. The very first grandchild, whose mother is Catherine. We spent may of Brett's childhood years with her. Catherine was at Neiman Marcus at the time and felt the stress of holiday demands along with having a child at home.  Even in a managerial position, she had long, long days, evolving into nights beginning in the fall and gearing up in December, just when Brett's school would be out for the holidays. 

        That time off fit perfectly with both Doug and me, because we were teaching. Even though we had finals to grade, we were off at the same time that Brett was. It made perfect sense for us to come to Richardson to stay with Brett during that time. So we would board the animals and take off, driving so that we would have a car. We'd drive south to Raton, New Mexico, then head east and south to the Dallas area.      

        Brett was an easy child and didn't require a lot of looking after. We were mostly the adult presence in the house. We had great conversations, though, and it was fun to meet her friends and to take her to parties here and there. We played games and did walks when the weather was cool enough, but not too cold. At times, we would have dinner ready for Catherine when she got home from work.  On Christmas Eve, we would go to Christ the King Catholic Church for Midnight Mass. 

        I don't quite remember when Catherine announced that Brett was now able to stay on her on during Christmas break, but it was the end of an era for Doug and me, when we knew we were helping out, while at the same time enjoying every minute of it.  

        Over the years, we came to Boston College twice, for Parents Weekend and for her graduation. We got to go to her 30th birthday celebration in New York, and later to her wedding reception. Then, of course, we came to meet Joanie when she was born, and later, Rafe, when he came along.  Doug and I enjoyed those milestones tremendously.

        Here are some pictures.

Doug, Grandma Kay, Brett, Eric

Catherine, Brett, Doug in Boulder

Catherine, Doug, Alex in Nederland

        Doug liked to brag that he had a grandson-in-law. He thought that was amazing, although people usually just gave him a blank look when he told them.

Doug, G. Kay, Catherine, Brett, Alex

 Eric Newmiller.  Eric is our second grandchild, born only a few months after Brett. He is Julie's oldest son.  We much enjoyed Eric's childhood and growing up. We would always see him during our holiday visits to care for Brett. Occasionally, I would come to stay with him and Andrew while Julie and Ned would vacation. We had great times going to plays, making cookies, and going to bookstores. Doug always enjoyed Eric's quick wit and sense of humor, a characteristic he has had always. When Eric was at the University of Texas, Doug loved talking with him about his classes. I remember one Christmas in particular, when both Eric and Brett announced that they thought James Joyce was overrated.  It was actually a pronouncement. Doug and I just nodded. Of course, we're both English professors. Joyce is not overrated, but that's another subject altogether.

        After Eric graduated and moved to Chicago we saw less of him. Yet, when we did get together at family reunions and other occasions, we felt right at home catching up with his life.

Here are some picutres:

 

Eric at Central Park

Eric & Doug

In the first picture, we are all in New York for Brett's 30th birthday. Eric had walked over to Central Park to meet us for coffee. I'm not sure where the second picture was taken, but notice the look of sheer pleasure and admiration on Doug's face. 

 

Andrew Newmiller.  Andrew is Julie's second son. He is unique in many ways. Along with Eric, Doug and I enjoyed holiday visits with him while he was growing up.  Early on, it was clear that he had a real talent for writing, and we exchanged manuscripts with one another. Like his brother, Andrew also has a quick wit and great sense of humor. Our greatest memory of Andrew, however, is when he came to live with us for a few months in Boulder after his high school graduation.  We quickly got into a rhythm of our days, and both Doug and I loved having him there with us. He took an English class at Front Range College while he was with us.  The three of us also established a workout routine at the YMCA. Andrew actually created a program for both Doug and me, so the three of us would set off for the Y, where we would go our separate ways and meet up in the lobby after we finished our workout. Then, we'd either go to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner or go on home, where Andrew was really adept at cooking his own meals. 

        Andrew was great company when he lived with us, and when he decided to return to Texas, we really missed him. Again, as with his brother, we haven't seen him often during his adult years, but we love it when we do. Last spring, as Doug's memory was fading, he had a moment of clarity when he said that he'd like to see Andrew. I think memories of his time with us had bubbled up. So Andrew and Julie came to Boulder, much to Doug's and my delight. It was only a few months before Doug died, but he did recognize Andrew.

         Here are some pictures:

At André's house in Nederland

André, Doug, Andrew at Ed & Julie's house

 Legend Teller.  As I write this Legend Teller is 13 years old. Legend and his mom Eileen came into Doug's life about five years ago, when André and Eileen got together. André and Legend have a great relationship, and we have welcomed him into our family circle because, actually, he's a great kid. And he's a great big brother to Luca.

 

Legend & Luca Read Books

 

        Since André and Eileen got together during the time of COVID, we had to first meet one another at a distance, and it was a few months before we could actually get together in person. We were still living in the mountain house, although we would move into town for Doug's care shortly. Even though Doug's health was declining, he was able to spend time getting to know this new addition to our family. We had gatherings, and Doug always remembered the Thanksgivings that we had a Eileen's parents' house. 

Eileen & Luca Read Books

 

        When Doug went into Juniper Village, Legend often came with the family to visit him. As short as the time was together, they had a good relationship, and I'm glad that Legend got to know him.

 

His Blended Family: Catherine, Julie, and André

 His and My Children

He is survived by his blended family members: daughters  Catherine Cook and Julie French (Ed), and son Andre Kaiser (Eileen Teller) 

        As I write this brief history if Doug, which I started in the fall of 2024, it is now January of 2025.  I'm writing from our little cottage in the mountains above Boulder. When I woke up this morning, the temperature was -11--yes, minus 11. We have about six inches of snow on the ground, and I have a fire in the wood stove nicely blazing. Today is actually January 20, auspiciously inauguration of a president I vehemently voted against as well as our national Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday.   But back to Doug and the children.

        When Doug and I first got together in 1989, Catherine was 31, Julie was 28, and André was 11 (It was the summer; he would turn 12 in December of that year. ) In 1989, Catherine was living in Richardson, Texas; Julie was in Houston; André was in Boulder with me.  Each of the children took immediately to Doug. I mean, who wouldn’t?  But I think they were relieved for me, their mother, that I had found someone who was kind, gentle, gainfully employed, and who adored me.

        Doug was thrilled to have more family members, and throughout the years, as they grew older, we managed to find time together, and that, for us, was always the best of times. Right now as I write, Catherine lives in Connecticut, but is still working at Bloomingdale's and has an apartment in the city. Julie and Ed live in Wimberley, Texas, and Andre and Eileen live in Nederland, Colorado.   

        Doug's relationship with each of the children was unique, and he valued them in each in their own way. Over the 33 years that we were married, their lives changed in many ways, and, like all families and all children, they had their ups and downs, moments of chaos, sorrow, happiness, and celebration. With no exceptions whatever, Doug supported them in all their endeavors, bragged about them, worried about them, and always considered them as his own.

 

Catherine.

 

Catherine, Doug, and my sister Karol

 

 

 

 

 

         This picture of Catherine probably says it best. We are in New York, and I'm pretty sure this is the occasion of Brett's 30th birthday. Catherine always organized our trips to visit, down to the last detail. I'm quite sure that we had reservations and that restaurant. When later, Doug and I were tired, but Brett's party was still in full swing, Catherine ordered an Uber for us. When we traveled to see her, whether in Texas, California, or New York, we were always relieved that we knew exactly what would be happening and that we would be taken care of. She was always generous with getting our flights and places to stay.  The last trip Doug took, as I have said earlier, was to Connecticut to meet our great grandson Rafe. Catherine arranged for first class tickets for us all, car transportation, and a stay at a lovely and spacious Airbnb that faced the river.  All of this in spite of an incredibly busy professional life. 

 

 

Catherine and Doug, High Line Walk NYC

Doug and I had wanted to walk the High Line, and even though it's a big tourist attraction, Catherine took us there, making sure we had coffee on that chilly day. Later, when Doug was tired, she ordered an Uber for him to go back to the hotel, while we continued the walk.

        Julie.  We spent some great times with Julie and family when they were in Austin and later in Wimberley in a beautiful and peaceful house they had designed in the Hill Country.  

 

Me, Doug, Julie, Andrew, and Eric

Of course, I was honored to officiate and Julie and Ed's wedding, which took place in their house in Austin. It was New Year's Day, 2010.

 

            

Julie and Doug on Long Island Sound

 We had come to celebrate Joanie's first birthday in late May. And it was that cold. Doug was having a real issue with lymphedema, but was so happy to be traveling and to be with family. He and Julie are in deep conversation, but I don't know about what.

        In the spring of 2023, a year and a half before Doug died, Julie came to stay with him for a week while I went to my yoga and dance retreat in Mexico.  At that time, Doug needed a lot of assistance with his care. I had someone come in for his showers and dressing, and each night, an aide came to give him his meds, about five different pills. He wasn't able to drive, so Julie took him to doctor appointments,  walked with him as he was getting used to using a walker, and made sure his days went smoothly. They mostly enjoyed talking with one another. Doug loved their time together. In fact, he was deeply disappointed when Julie visited a few months before his death that I was not going to Mexico and Julie was not here to stay with him. Julie and I still laugh at the look of deep disappointment on his face when her realized I was not going anywhere. 

André.  He was almost 12 when Doug and I got together, and since he lived with us and later, even into his adulthood, he was always close by, so he and Doug formed a special bond over the years. Doug offered André support and consistency through the challenging teenage years, and at one time, he lived with Doug while he was finishing high school and I was teaching in Utah. Later, in his adult years, he stayed again with Doug to complete course in HVAC that he was taking in Denver. 

Luca, André, and Doug Out for a Walk

My Birthday Dinner at André's

 

  

A

A Much Needed Shave

When Doug became ill and later, in 2024, when he was in the hospital, then rehab, then memory care, André helped with all arrangements, visited Doug on a weekly basis, bring Eileen, Legend, and Luca when he could. 

 

The Amalfi Coast.

 At Doug's funeral, André spoke of his high school years, when music and especially guitar, were an important part of his life. He and Doug would practice heavy metal music together, André on guitar and Doug at the piano. We all loved the image that he evoked and how much it characterized Doug, who was willing to try anything for the children.